Michelle Bachmann, the fictional US Representative from Minnesota,
had many cracked things to say today.
Two points, before
my points, of which I always have many:
- Before you go and tell me that she is, in fact, not fictional but really a duly elected member of congress for whom able-minded humans actually voted - for God's sake, don't! Even in a word of Alan Keyes and Glenn Beck, if there is any hope for humanity and my sanity, she really just has to be fictional. Do I need to explain why?
- Yes, I know she has many cracked things to say every day.
Well, the actual gist of today's funny was an aside to her telling us that our economy was all privately run until Obama the Hitler was elected. Now, I'm not an economist, but I did check Libtard Pedia and apparently she's off by about 33%, which is pretty good for her.
Actually, she used to be even more correct when she once pointed out it was the "private economy" that was, in fact, private. Now, I'm thinking people like this should really stick to these simple "A equals A" points, because no one can say you're wrong.
I mean, I can forthrightly say, without and feelings of remorse for exaggerating or fear of legal retribution, that "Crazy Lady is Crazy". See! Who am I talking about there? What am I implying? Who knows!
Anyways, that's not what caught my eye. What did make me laugh was this line:
"The media wants you to believe that tea party patriots are toothless hillbillies," said Bachmann, who instead cast the tea partiers as intelligent, educated and professional people. "This is a very sophisticated crowd."
This was, of course, meant to press the usual buttons of the snotty educated folks being dickish to the South or Appalachia or whatnot.
But this is her mistake here: Being a "toothless hillbilly", or a "redneck", was never about a physical characteristic or a problem of where you live.
Being a "toothless hillbilly" has always been a state of mind.
The problem was, the vast majority of actual toothless folks that happen to live in the hills do not have the "toothless hillbilly" mindset at all.
I am very sure there are legions of average folks, toothless or not, sitting on front porches on rocking chairs, with or without a stick of hay dangling from their mouths, who are as wise as the day is long.
I am also sure there are legions of well-dressed, well-educated, folks that have never seen a straw hat, cowboy hat, or ear of corn attached to the ground in their entire life, who are in their heart of hearts "toothless hillbillies".
(Of course, there might also be a few dentition-challenged Appalachians that may also be Hillbillies of the Heart. But that's neither here nor there.)
So, it occurs to me that there is One Good Thing that the Tea Party Flying Circus has done: It has given everyone else a new and precise name to call these folks - one that defines their actual nature and not where they're from or how they've lived.
Tea Partiers.
See, that crowd to which Tea Partier Bachmann was speaking was not filled with hillbillies or yokels or flyover people. It was filled with Tea Partiers.
Since Tea Partiers now, by definition, equals "simultaneously batshit wonkers, living in a self-created alternate universe, and highly enraged for unclear reasons", we can now be very clear about what we're saying. Just like Bachmann in her best moments, I now feel very confident with my "A = A" statements. "Crazy Lady is Crazy", "Tea Partiers are Cracked".
In fact, I think that what follows from this is probably the greatest gift of all: The Tea Party has finally allowed millions of proud citizens of our Nation - those that happen to live in areas where the necks are red and the hills are billy - to finally take their names back with pride.
Oh wow, OK, I guess she's soooo early 2000s. They're not even letting her screech at the actual WOODSTOCK!!!
I'm telling you right now, in a few years, she's gonna be where Coulter is now. Also.
He's got the most gigs on the agenda. Boy needs work since the election. I know a place that would hire him by the hour.
Must be the magician act.